Fourth of July
by Xerios
Summary: Movieverse - The crew from 'The Dark Side of the Sun' celebrates the Fourth of July.


**Disclaimer :** Don't own Transformers or Stargate, just Kate, Arad, and a few other OCs.

**Note :** This was actually written last year around this time, when Kate and I were all hyperactive and wanting to write a Fourth of July story. It was originally written in script format, so if it sucks, that's probably why.

**Fourth of July**

A beige Cavalier came barreling down the dirt road towards the lookout. Its speedometer declared it to be traveling at a speed somewhere between one hundred and warp nine. This was due to some intrinsic circuit behind the dashboard that needed to be replaced and not an accurate reflection of the vehicles actual speed. Arad was driving, mainly because it was her car. This was because Tank had refused to be a chauffer for the so called 'errands' that she had needed to run. As the car pulled to a stop, the bespectacled blonde stuck her head out the window, waving.

"Yoo-hoo, Happy Fourth of July!"

"Oh no," Sam groaned, hopping down from his perch on the picnic table. He started towards the car, only to pause in his tracks as the familiar hum of a scanning program being run hit his eardrums. Turning, he saw Ironhide peering at the car with more interest than usual.

"Why is there an abnormal amount of primitive explosive devices in your vehicle?" the big black pick-up asked of Arad as she pried open the Cavalier's trunk.

"It's the Fourth of July," she repeated, pulling out a package of bottle rockets. "It's the one day of the year when it's legal to be an arsonist."

Kate, who had detached her I-pod from her ears, crossed over to the back end of the car and started loading up on fireworks.

"Here you go, kiddo," she said with a smile, tossing Sam a small thin package. "Don't burn yourself now."

"Sparklers?" he asked, looking down at the box. "Are you kidding me?"

He tossed the package aside and went digging into the pile, pulling out a couple more packages and examining the labels.

"Demonspinner? Tarantula? Where'd you get these, the Dollar Store?"

"For your information, these are professional grade and imported directly from China."

She shook a package of snap dragons at him.

"What is this 'Fourth of July' and why is it an excuse to set illegal fires," Ratchet inquired, having picked up the discarded box of sparklers. Mikaela, who was perched on his shoulder, took the box before it could be squished between his fingers.

"I thought you downloaded the internet," she said, opening the box to make sure none of them were broken.

"Yes, but much of the data is conflicting and contradictive."

Arad paused, looking up from her armful of morning glories.

"Basically the Fourth of July is to celebrate the independence of the United States from the British Empire," she stated, dumping the boxes on top of the picnic table. "You know, the usual reasons."

"And this is an excuse to set off incendiary devices?" Ironhide asked, looking as if he might start grinning.

"Yes," Kate answered with a nod, collecting a handful of smoke bombs. "Well, one of many excuses anyways."

"That was the worst explanation for this holiday I've ever heard," Sam commented, noting that there appeared to be several dozen larger boxes in the backseat of the car. He moved to fetch those, since the girls seemed to be clearing the trunk out rather efficiently. "I mean, that was like first grade social studies book explanation."

"What?" Arad asked, picking up a box that had fallen on the ground. "You want me to go into the finer points of the Revolutionary War?"

"You left out the alien invasion."

"What!?" Sam cried out, smacking his head on the top of the door.

"You know," Kate said, looking rather non-chalant. "Back in ninety-six, they blew up the White House and most of New York."

"That was a movie."

"But it was a good movie..."

"Not really," Mikaela commented, pulling out one of the sparklers. "It was kinda cheesy."

"No it wasn't!"

"Yeah it was."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh, yeah..."

"Children, please," Arad snapped, briefly calling attention to herself and the armful of artillery shells she was carrying.

"You know, just pointing this out," Sam said, as a glare was turned on him. "It's not even dark yet."

"I guess the fact that we're having a party has yet to reach your brain."

"Party?" Ratchet asked looking slightly uncomfortable at the idea.

"Yes, a party," Arad repeated, grinning. "O'Neill and the rest of the Brady Bunch should be here soon."

"Brady Bunch?" Mikaela echoed, climbing down from Ratchet's shoulder. "What are you forty?"

Arad blinked, the stomped over and snatch the box of sparklers away from her.

"No sparklers for you."

"You still have yet to explain how firing explosives is a way of celebration," Ironhide broke in, edging closer to the growing pile of fireworks covering the picnic table.

Arad climbed up on the table top and waved her arms in the air.

"Alright, fine. History One-oh-one!" she announced, managing to project her voice a pretty good distance over the hill. "A long while back there was the British Empire and it controlled the majority of the world, including America."

She pulled a badly drawn sketch of the world map from her pocket, holding it up for everyone to see. No one bothered to ask where she got it from.

"Anyways the British Empire was being mean to everyone in America so some people said, "Hey, let's toss some tea in the ocean." And that's how the Revolutionary War started."

This time she pulled out a badly drawn sketch of the Boston Tea Party.

"And then some battles happened, stuff got blown up, the Empire built the Death Star, Alderaan was destroyed--"

"Uh, that's Star Wars," Sam cut in, tapping her shoe.

"_Luke, I am your father_," announced Bumblebee, who had sidled up behind the picnic table during Arad's explanation. This prompted her to collapse into a fit of giggles, nearly falling off the picnic table in the process. It took a few moments for her to recover her balance, but she managed to defeat gravity in the end and remain upright.

"Well, look," she said, after the giggles had subsided. "The Fourth of July is the date that this country became an independent nation, so we celebrate it every year with flashy multi-colored explosives of questionable magnitude."

"It is a celebration of your freedom?"

They looked up, because that's pretty much what you have to do when looking at Optimus Prime.

"Exactly."

"Let them have their fun, Ironhide," Optimus said, patting the other mech on the shoulder.

"Fine," Ironhide grumped. "But if they blow themselves up..."

"I'm fairly certain that Ratchet is competent enough to deal with burn injuries."

Arad made an indignant noise.

"Please, I'm a professional pyromaniac," she informed them, folding her arms across her chest. "I only set fire to inanimate objects."

At that moment another vehicle came on down the road, kicking up dust. It was a mid-size SUV, black but speckled with dirt as if it got constant use on outdoor roads. It pulled up next to the Cavalier, Mitchell leaning out of the window with his frown obviously pointed at the giant pile of fireworks on the picnic table.

"Did you get enough?"

"I would have gotten more but _somebody _refused to drive," Arad responded, oblivious to the sarcasm as she sent Tank a glare. He ignored her, as he was apparently ignoring everything in favor of glaring at the desert.

Teal'c, who was helping unload the grill from the back of the truck, glanced over at Arad's car.

"Did you not have adequate space in your vehicle?"

"Only five hundred bucks worth."

"Only," O'Neill echoed, hefting a cooler out of the back seat.

"Where did you get five hundred dollars?" Carter asked, somewhat concerned by this information.

"I sold my left kidney," Arad replied in an off-handed kind of way. Almost immediately following that statement, a scanning program ran over her, several points of light flickering over her.

"This is false," Ratchet pointed out, a moment later. "Both of your kidneys are still in place."

"Thus the reason why it's called a joke."

"It was not funny."

"Yeah, seriously," Mitchell commented, a bag of charcoal under each arm. "Who'd be crazy enough to buy your kidney?"

Kate was quick to clamp a hand over her friend's mouth before the blonde could respond. She sent a glare in Mitchell's direction.

"Take a minute, think about what you just asked," she instructed, whilst Arad attempted to escape by prying at her fingers. Mitchell frowned, setting the charcoal down next to the grill. "Now, remember who you're talking to."

"Right, it was a bad question."

"So these are supposed to explode?"

Everyone turned to see that Vala had somehow managed to reach the pile of fireworks and was now inspecting one of the larger boxes. Daniel, having the presence of mind to realize that, if at all possible that there was one person in the universe with whom explosives did not mix, it was her.

"Uh, let's just leave those alone," he said, taking the box from her and setting it back down on the pile. "I'm pretty sure Arad has more experience with these anyways."

"Duh."

He glared at her, earning himself an annoyed look in return.

"Oh come on, can't I light just one?" Vala asked, looking wistfully at the pile. "You did bring something to light them with, right?"

"Of course I did," Arad said, patting her pockets only to obtain a rather distressed looking face. "Shit...no, wait, you brought a lighter for the grill right Mitchell?"

"Uh..."

"Damn it! How're we gonna set off fireworks then?"

"Well, hold on, there should be one in the car," Mitchell said, jogging back over to his jeep. After a cursory examination, however, it appeared he couldn't locate it. "Damn, I could have sworn I had one in here...what about your car?"

"Uh, no."

"Great."

There was a beep and the both looked up to see Bumblebee fishing around inside his armor somewhere. A few moments later, he pulled out one of those lighter thingies that usually comes as an accessory to every new vehicle. He grinned, as only a giant robot can, and handed it to Sam.

"Sweet," Sam said, realizing that technically this meant he was in charge of the fireworks. "What should we set off first?"


End file.
